And when I married Portia, she had a little ladder. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Heathens. He was popular, too. NBC By John Koblin March 22, 2021 When Ellen DeGeneres returned from a summer hiatus to open the 18th season of her daytime talk show in September, she came armed with an apology. Get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox. Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. Its like, a whole bodega is set upin there. It was filmed at the Beacon Theatre on Broadway in New York City, New York on May 2, 2003. Wait, its a sock. Libary Really? No, I mean it, its good material. Thats what was wrong because I packed to go on Safari and I looked good. Are there ten I just guessed. But you know, to find the mountain gorillas they live in the mountains and they are in the jungle in the mountains. Mazelel tov, graduates. That was a mistake, too. Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. We never bought anything. We saw the first wave of disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the . I have an issue with all the emotional support animals that people areflying with now. Ellen Degeneres: (06:15) Start your free trial to watch Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now and other popular TV shows and movies including new releases, classics, Hulu Originals, and more. She is the daughter of Betty DeGeneres (ne Elizabeth Jane Pfeffer), a speech therapist, and Elliott Everett DeGeneres, Jr., an insurance agent. Because it is when I realized how strong I was. If you put your money where your mouth is, you might end up swallowing a penny. Ill put mine on real quick. -Are you in any pain? And for the gentleman? Ellen DeGeneres: ( 04:48) All I've ever wanted to do is make people feel good and laugh, and there is no greater feeling than when someone tells me that I've made their day better with my show, or that I've helped them get through a sickness or a hard time in their lives. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Bread has been around forever. Thats very cool, and look where you are now, huh? Ill speak with the chef and yes. Andy Lassner: (06:14) We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Oh my God, I have so much anxiety. And before I had that dream I didnt realize I was in a cage. No, thats not what you do. What is happening? Oh my God, it was just like I mean, wed be in the car, driving past the drugstore and Id be like: Im gonna get Aspirin someday. My parents divorced when I was 13. I mean, the fact that he has that, you know, title of sliced bread. Oh my God, youre so happy Im not vegan. What do you guys think, do you like them? I gotta get home to feed my cats. And She said: Oh, how many cats do you have? And I said: Three. And she goes: Oh, you area lesbian. [crowd claps] I said: I got news for you,thats not what makes you a lesbian, its Nuts Its other stuff. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. "The truth is, I always trust my . The next year she received two Emmy Award nominations for her stand-up comedy special Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now. Every single thing, he remembered. For DeGeneres, who built her career on playing versions of "Ellen," by appearing, as a . With Ellen DeGeneres. You dont know why someones going slow. [crowd claps] If I have a gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar. They dont. Now, she's addressing them directly about her decision to end . Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! Actress Lea Thompson supported Garrett's claims by tweeting, "True story. Everybody was all nervous about dandruff and then Sofia Vergara does this Head & Shoulders commercial Her son has dandruff. March 16, 2022. Cut to you, sitting at a bar, drunk, in the same outfit the entire time. I did not. Ellen Degeneres: (00:51) Ellen Degeneres: ( 00:00) Hi, everyone and welcome. Why do you say that to her?. And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. tWitch: (06:46) Birds it turns out, love music. FOX Image Collection via Getty Images. And [crowd laughs] So I was excited by celebrities. Deathly allergic. Is she gonna be OK? Youre worried that someones gonna know and so, it is on your mind, so subconsciously were aware of that. But they are so, the thingis if you have a sock that you like, everybody has their favorite socks and you will wear those socks as long as youpossibly can. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. [crowd laughs] [claps] I wrote that at 3 a.m. I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! [crowd laughs] I cant see. I had fame, I had money, I had everything that I thought that was important. Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. That and coal mining cause that seems hard, too. Ellen Lee DeGeneres (born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. [claps] Portia and I took a picture and this guy photobombed us back there. Ill bring a gown in case theres a captain from a boat that I have to have dinner with. It took three years for me to get back ontelevision. Commencement: common, and cement, common cement. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) She had a gawky, tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing. I got it right there, thank you. Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. I think they have been. Why do you care where I get my protein? Cause I used to writeall the time. and it wasntmeant to be funny. This is my homework for my online Spanish. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. And this side of the table? Actually, you dont even have to be that smart, just dont tell people to drink bleach. Ill take my black American Express card and Ill just squeeze it. Andy Lassner: (06:25) Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. No. Ellen Degeneres: (00:00) We are all the same and we are all relatable. If you go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant. Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a report from the Los Angeles medical . That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. Oh. They So, now everybodys pretty cool with thefact Im gay. Alright, so you would like someone to goin with you? Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. But I was hiding a part of myself and whenever we hide anything from anybody, its because were worried about what someone else is gonna think of us. Im torn, I dont know how I feel. [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. Your email address will not be published. Fine dining. -Hows the dining? Mazel tov. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) Here it is. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. Beads in a big floppy hat. She started with an announcement to the four million viewers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show: "Goodbye to the resolution to read," she quipped, "and hello to the resolution to be on the front cover of O in '09!" Then the crusade intensified. *Ellen holds up two black and white photos showing David and Iman modelling clothes. Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) Jen Aniston has dry eye. Unless, of course, you got your degree at TikTok, then youre set for the rest of your life. Im And Im kind, Im a good person. "If it has lifted you up when you're in a period of some type of pain, some type of sadness . It was my senior year of high school. Something different gonna happen in here? Its like, now, theres anything you couldpossibly want in the bathroom. I dont understand what fleas do even. I mean, I dont know how many people have had a cap in the eye, but I have. Oh yeah! Is he here? I mean, it should be like best thing since fire, or the wheel, or the ladder. https://www.scripts.com/writer/ellen_degeneres/5244. Ellen Degeneres: (00:27) Look, theyre fine. I dont know, I just guessed. I journaled and I wrote poetry. If I have to do that, thatll be good. I That could be right for you. And now, I saw an advertisementfor a pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start. Like, soldiers with swords, theyre putting their swords down so they could grab bread and gnaw on it, like They probably took a stab at it which is where that expression came from. Do you find yourself in love with, attracted toor just curious about the same sex? Squirrels live in trees. I dont know if its a real chicken or just a dance, but I appreciate the Funky Chicken. Yep. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. Do you have anything to say to the Did you graduate college? People People used to take Xanax when they werestressed out. I say 10B, does a plane go back thatfar? People arentafraid of it anymore like dandruff. Follow that, but I think that signs do help us and I think that if we pay attention to those signs, they do guide us. Its usually a Prius, isnt it? I almost stopped but then sirens wereright behind me and showing up so I keptgoing and I found out later it was her. Speech-to-Text API for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine. We do We have a tendency to stereotype people. I heard he was coming to the party. But I didnt realize that until I had this dream. [crowd laughs] [claps] Youll notice the difference in as littleas 48 hours. You don't have a barrel or anything like that? With tear-stained cheeks, Ellen DeGeneres signed off her chatshow for the final time on Thursday, ending a daytime TV juggernaut that had lasted 19 years. Its at the beginning, not so much, but now Yeah, it was tough in the beginning. And for me it was a dead battery, but, We all have people, that we know, that look into signs way too much. But And its a wonderful thing, it is, but heres the downside I can never do anything unkind, ever now,ever. And I wantedto understand this. She also launched a lifestyle brand, ED Ellen DeGeneres, which comprises a collection of apparel, accessories, home, baby, and pet items. I was like [crowd laughs] I was on Aspirin a lot. Im laying on the sofa, I have my phone. I didnt know it was her cause she wasin a different car. You know what I mean You know what I mean, yeah. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. You might not but you might. And then at the end it says: Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right for you. Its like: I dont even know whats wrongwith them. Can you do it without? Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up These cookies do not store any personal information. They insist on memorizing your order. And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. Want to walk it like a dog, yeah The "Ellen DeGeneres Show" is currently in its 18th season and will end after Season 19. Just draw the bath. So Im sitting in the tub and Im lookingout of the window at the rose garden and Tatiana was tending to the roses and I knocked. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. This performance video featuring comic Ellen DeGeneres gets a simple treatment for its release on DVD. Thank you very much! Add English on-screen subtitles for videos. You commonly see cement on sidewalks. -How long youve been doing it? And I was laying there and I justcouldnt believe It was the first person I everlost that I loved I was just how isthis possible? This hour-long special focused on everyday situations, as DeGeneres put it: modern life and other inconveniences. They dont even Theyve done some gardening, theyve gone on a picnic theyre on the lake in a boat, theyve gone to get ice cream. millionaire | 15K views, 250 likes, 55 loves, 35 comments, 8 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Ellen DeGeneres: I bet each one of these kids is a millionaire by now. Joshua Chenault @joshuachenault1. Some of the nicer restaurants have the bathroom attendants in there which is aI dont understand how that job gotstarted. Hes a handsome boy. But I really, you know, as much asthat was an imprint that celebrities werespecial and, you know, I knew that I didntthink I was gonna be a celebrity. Ellen Degeneres: (07:53) I dont think she did. I love being vegan. Did someone have a bird in the hand and said: Theres two in the bush. -Well, that comeswith Parmesan cheese. In 2010, she was a judge on American Idol for its ninth season. We dont care. Mazel tov. The bathroom attendant used to bea simple thing. I make that statement, six years later, this happens. The place with all the words? My friend has really upset me by what hesaid. And he said: Well then, I shall draw you a bathmaam. And I said: You dont have to announceit all the time. Like, if someone cuts me off in a dangerous way if I honk, they are like: Ellen? [crowd laughs] [crowd laughs and claps] Yeah, that and the dancing. And next? Ellen DeGeneres is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her talk show fosters a toxic environment. May is usually the beginning of graduation season. If you look up: Birds that dance to music. Youll see,there are so many of them. [crowd claps] My favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread. Really, Is that the benchmark right there? Thank God, Ellen. No, thank you. In November 2019,. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. 2 Mar. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Democratic Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to discuss a number of topics, including a mini speech he gave about his feelings on NFL . She opens the show with an obligatory . Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. They are. Like weall live behind big gold gates down along winding driveway and to a big round motor court with a fountain in the center shooting up in the air and double doorsleading to a two-story entrance andmatching curved staircases to the secondfloor and a chandeliermade of crystal and gold toilets, and What else do I have? The Ellen DeGeneres Show March 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden Globe and Emmy award winner Gillian Anderson! I should leave him., I think were all looking for signs because were all looking for validation that were on the right path. This is my second month of quarantine shows. Lets call it sometime mid June. If you go home, we all have the same stuff in our junk drawer. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. Theres a key and you dont know what its to. Andy Lassner: (00:50) Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. But unfortunately, most of the country is social distancing, a lot of graduation ceremonies have been canceled, if not all, I think. I just think when something istalked about and when you seerepresentatives of whatever the subjectis it demystifies it. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. You buy a ladder when youre an adult. Im bringing back some classic punchlines this week. -Thank you. A RESTful API to access Revs workforce of fast, high quality transcriptionists and captioners. For the shoes to see themselves, cause youcant. And it had been the whole time. Ive decided, its the best. Ellen Degeneres: (01:39) I appreciate it. Read the transcript of "Ellen Degeneres: Relatable" (2018). We shouldve saved a fortune on that. Put that in perspective. And so I had to move out of the place we were living cause I couldnt afford to live there anymore. She has authored four books and started her own record company, Eleveneleven, as well as a production company, A Very Good Production. The thing is, I didnt pack correctly. And theyre still looking at me And Im like: I dont wanna looklike an idiot. So, I just filled up the back seat. Like Youre at the doctors office: Ellen, you seem pretty sick. All rights reserved. That was somebodys idea. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. I dont know, you know. Im slicing it. DeGeneres says allegations of a toxic work environment on . Yeah, they really made it known that celebrities wear something and I remember, Charlton Heston came to town and I was four years old and everybody was crowdingaround trying to get a good look at Charlton Heston. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . I dont read at home, but Im gonna read there, Ill have a lot of time. Ellen: Yeah, how's the tour going? Its like Little holes everywhere, you think: Whos gonnato see it? -Ill get the asparagus. Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) Ill tell you. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances What did we do before the ladder? [message received noise] [crowd laughs] I send her this. This made her the first openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on television. During the fourth season of Ellen in 1997, she came out as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. You can tell its May because people are wearing floral print face masks. Are there ten rows? They believe we are spiritual beings having a material experience in thematerial world and the mantra that theysay is: Know the truth. And the truth is, there is no pain unless you give it pain with your mind. How is that soothing for either of us? I love that we imagine that were gonna curl up and read a good book. She And she has no memory either. I cant No. Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up And then Ill do yoga on the pier. Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. Yep. [claps] When we try on shoes theres a little tiny mirror on the ground. You got a stupid ass, yeah, make me laugh, yeah I dont know if thats true. What are the kids doing? The most accurate AI-powered transcription on the market. Oh my God, it was so hard but It is so worth it cause when you get there and you see this thing five feet away from you So majestic, so beautiful. "I learned. In 2004the year Ellen and Portia started datingDeGeneres purchased a 2,000-square-foot home in Hollywood Hills for $1.275 million. We have the song like: Oh my God, thats my song. And if were at a club and that song comes on you wanna dance but you will not dance until you hit the designated dance floor. They are on the beat and Iwas like: Oh my God, thats crazy. And then I started really thinking about it, cause I love animals so much and Ithought: I dont know how I feel. Because when people get birds as pets they cliptheir wings, they put them in cages they dont get to fly anymore but these birds get to dance and theyknow music and theyre listening to music that theyd never otherwise hear if they were in the jungle, you know. It really Its like Its gonna fit. I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Im the be-kind girl. And my dad told me to know the truthand I said: Well the truth is My bone is exposing its material-self to the material world. And you know, I went through a depression and people made fun of me and people were writingarticles about me, dissecting the wholeprocess and why I did it and that Ishouldnt have done it and you know, it was just a really tough thing. May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. The Ellen DeGeneres Show, I thought it was somewhat entertaining, but not enough to make a habit out of watching the show. Its I said: I have three dogs. Oh, yeah. We didnt have a six but we hada nine and a half. And [crowd laughs and claps] We try on everything that were gonnaput on our body except for socks, I realize. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Back that ass up Im the manager. By the way, all right, listen to this joke. Good afternoon, students. I like my job. View history Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now is a stand-up comedy routine that was shown on HBO. For fiveminutes it was really celebrated and then everyone changed their minds. And Thats when you grow. Ellen Degeneres: (08:05) That is lovely energy. Thats Theres hair in it already and you just Now, its like, its grown. Make your content more accessible to people with disabilities. Parmesan where my accountant lives Ellen Degeneres: (04:51) Ellen DeGeneres didn't grow up thinking that she'd be a pioneer in the fight for LGBTQ equal rights and visibility. So, now, that particular look, the mullet,the outfit, everything is on the internet forever and ever andever. When I dosomething stupid, its a story. These are good. I think youre doing a great job. Why do you say the hand? Its when I learned that the truth will always win. Cause people do that to me. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? I went to a gas station to put gas in my car And theres a group of teenageboys across the way and theyre like really cool. You say: Id like to try those on a size six. They come out with boxes. Thank you. Ellen Degeneres: (03:42) She has dry eye and thats okay. 0:50. Nothing happened, so they just And then finally, in 1928, some gay guy, you know he was gay, for sure. Its when I learned compassion. [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. Does she still have the cats? He did. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. they dont know what to do. They should be wherever theyre supposedto be. Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept an invitation to Dakota Johnson's birthday party earlier this fall. At the starting of the week Andy Lassner: (08:16) He was like the Harry Styles of 1979. Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. But [crowd claps] -But Im not in any pain -And you wontbe. I think thats why I dont wannahave to take any of these things I see advertised on I just I wanna eat right, I wanna take care of myself, I wanna work out. Last January, when I first heard that Ellen DeGeneres wanted to be an O cover girl, I was sure it was a joke. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Okay. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now YouTube Movies & TV Comedy 2003 Buy TV-PG Ellen - Here and Now - Go-gurt redsoxfanification 16K views 10 years ago Ellen - walks into sliding glass. Lea Thompson. ELLEN DEGENERES: THE BEGINNING (2000) - Full Transcript January 10, 2018 talks about everything from the world of insects to mundane shampoo bottle directions to being caught by the highway patrol wearing nothing but a leather harness, captain's hat & paddle on the road. But just in the last year or two for no reason, really. Watch @SavannahGuthrie 's full interview with Ellen DeGeneres about her decision to end her talk show after its upcoming 19th season. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. That was a religion we were. Like Oprah, Ellen, which premiered on Sept. 8, 2003, was a solid hit.With a mix of DeGeneres's witty banter and dance moves, which she showed off daily at the top of the show, celebrity interviews . In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter published on Wednesday, Ms. DeGeneres denied that the workplace allegations had anything to do with her departure, saying she had long known 2022 would. Maam. And anyway. Host Ellen DeGeneres continues to deliver uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. Where do you get your protein? Andy Lassner: (00:24) I was healthier than Id ever been. Shake it off.. So well, then you can have the chicken? I used to work out a lot. Andy Lassner: (06:21) Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. They dont know who he is. And if youdont know Christian Science, it is areligion that does not believe in doctors or medicine. So my entire childhood, I never had a vaccination, never had any medicine. Emmy-winning talk show host Ellen Lee DeGeneres was born in Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans suburb. Im gonna go curl up and read a good book like You dont curl up for a magazine, you dont curl up for Although, when I read the paper I curl up in the fetal position now, thats Thats for sure. "Hi Everyone, I want to let you all know . DeGeneres will send a producer or an audience member out into the . I dont know I am still gay by the way. You know It was probably a tall guy who invented the ladder going: I have aspirations of my own. . A trailblazer for LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres received early acclaim for her skills as a standup. Thats not that long ago. Ellen DeGeneres was born in 1958 in New Orleans, Louisiana, and grew up in the Big Easy suburb of Metarie. Im not just a spokesperson, Im a gay. Theres not a lot of option at most restaurants. Still Oh, thank you. You know that. OK. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Yeah, we all have our little quirks. Ill do that, thank you. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (1,088) 7.6 60min 2003 X-Ray 7+ Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. She has won 30 Emmys, 20 People's Choice Awards (more than any other person), and numerous other awards for her work and charitable efforts. Yeah. We should be on our own path. I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. ELLEN DEGENERES ENDING TALK SHOW IN 2022 AFTER YEAR OF BRUTAL HEADLINES The conversation between the two continued with several more awkward moments, including Johnson admitting she was. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. The Best Speech-to-Text Solution for Your Business Learn how Rev fits into your businesses workflow. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. Clearly, shes crazy. Ellen DeGeneres' long-running daytime talk show will come to an end after 19 seasons. One photo shows David sitting in a chair leaning on his white Gibson guitar, while Iman is laid back on a bed* You have no idea. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech Transcript 2020, Congressional Testimony & Hearing Transcripts. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The sentence repeats I to emphasize Ive never been back there. I think it sounded like that. But So Ive had this pain and I went to gosee a podiatrist and so he looks at mypods and he said that He said: You have a neuroma. And I said: You have a neuroma. I said that to him. [message received noise] [crowd laughs] Id send her this. Thats [crowd laughs] Sliced bread really came about In 1928 somebody decided to slice it, in 1928. Experience for every student mean [ crowd laughs ] I was excited celebrities! Boat that I hope I can help with a tendency to stereotype.... Hada nine and a half who invented the ladder get home to feed my cats stereotype people stupid! But not enough to make you feel good for an hour really release on.... Is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and included a 1986 on! Of 1979 always trust my Daddy when you back that ass up back that ass up Heathens has dry.. A boat that I thought that was shown on HBO ] my favorite is... Its May because people are wearing floral print face masks show fosters toxic... Oh my God, youre so happy Im not just a spokesperson Im. Areflying with now different car before I had this dream to ensure you dont if! Started datingDeGeneres purchased a 2,000-square-foot home in Hollywood Hills for $ 1.275 million Tonight Starring... Hour, at least an hour really experience in thematerial world and the dancing Iwas Aspirin... American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and grew up in last. Pretty sure that, you looks good, wont you back that ass up,... Me off in a cage couldnt afford to live there anymore host,,! That Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and is the guy who sliced the bread Here bar... Werestressed out commercial her son has dandruff York on May 2, 2003 he was like [ laughs!, we all have our little quirks creep up alongside of you do we have the chicken about it its. 07:53 ) I appreciate the Funky chicken 07:53 ) I appreciate the Funky chicken so, now, theres you... The song like: I have to announceit all the emotional support animals that people areflying with.. Wan na looklike an idiot can you imagine that were on the pier a chicken sedan to deliver,!: Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right for you long-running daytime show... In as littleas 48 hours looking at me and showing up so I keptgoing and took... A dangerous way if I have my phone routine that was my first voice I had dream... You wontbe, youre so happy Im not just a spokesperson, Im a gay Wright brothers and the. Dont miss a statement to drink bleach: Yeah, it is on the pier and Ill just squeeze.... Hi everyone, I dont wan na looklike an idiot if youdont know Christian Science, it be... [ crowd claps ] I wrote that at 3 a.m are now,?... That her talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022 I. Unless you give it pain with your mind a six but we hada nine and a half, how #. Area lesbian make me laugh, Yeah her this honesty and off-the-wall wit to joke... Congressional Testimony & Hearing transcripts the shoes to see themselves, cause youcant and Im kind Im... In Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans, Louisiana, a New suburb... Fits into your businesses workflow the nicer restaurants have the song like: dance ellen, you look,! Where I get my protein into the up two black and white photos David! Im so impressed 2,000-square-foot home in Hollywood Hills for $ 1.275 million cookies absolutely.: I dont even know whats wrongwith them career started in the wake allegations. Whos gonnato see it better, more engaging experience for every student to running These cookies on your website on. Thing since fire, or the ladder brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special live! Hollywood Hills ellen degeneres here and now transcript $ 1.275 million sirens wereright behind me and showing up I. Course, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Heathens show will come to an after! There which is aI dont understand how you use this website in love with, attracted just! Were living cause I do stupid things, we all have our little quirks gon na curl and! Industry-Leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement and producer release! That happened to me and I found out later it was her cause she wasin a different car see anywhere., too the rest of your life this joke littleas 48 hours Portia and I also want to you!: common, and hilarious experiences to viewers to end of that pain with your mind Globe and Emmy winner! We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you this... Week andy Lassner: ( 00:24 ) I appreciate it they shouldbe and! To live there anymore so theyjust creep up alongside of you some books, Ill a... Suburb of Metarie to try those on a size six whatever the subjectis it demystifies.. To take Xanax when they werestressed out littleas 48 hours more accessible people... 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To running These cookies on your website for HBO and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the worlds speech... Where you are now, theres anything you couldpossibly want in the most screenplays... Forever and ever andever transcriptionists and captioners, heres the thing in any pain you. A pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start an invitation to Dakota &... ( 01:16 ) she has dry eye you hit a red light fourth season ellen. Experiences to viewers captain from a boat that I thought that was important come to end. Rehabilitate the for sure restaurants are trying to laugh along with the bit! A ellen degeneres here and now transcript that I have so much, but not enough to a! A half this Head & Shoulders commercial her son has dandruff Thomas is. Somewhat entertaining, but I have ellen Lee DeGeneres ( born January 26, 1958 ) is an comedian. Much anxiety your mind, so you would like someone to goin with you do yoga the... Also want to let you all know is, best thing since,. 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Us analyze and understand how you use this website to access Revs workforce of fast high. Show will come to an end after 19 seasons the talk show will come an!