Keep in mind, some of these suggestions may not be appropriate for every age, stage and situation. Make sure your child knows you are listening. Over time well be there to assist them to make it up to another, and they are slowly learning how to solve problems for themselves. With this level of obedience or self-discipline comes a degree of self-respect in which a child cannot help but respect the rights and needs of others alongside her own. Following some inner guide, they occupied themselves in work different for each that gave them joy and peace, and then something else appeared that had never before been known among children, a spontaneous discipline. This can help to foster a strong parent-child relationship based on mutual respect. Beating/ hitting your child is not okay, even if your parents did it to you.A parent should never . Rather than punishing the child for not displaying acceptable social behavior, the Montessori Method encourages that we find ways to help the child understand the repercussions of what theyve done. What is causing your anger? rather than using negative reinforcement to try to control their emotional outbursts. This article was first published in Tomorrows Child magazine. Freedom is not a word that is traditionally associated with discipline. A Montessori approach to discipline works both in the classroom and at home. It is actually based on the root word "disciple" which means "to teach" or "to learn." So I like to say instead of getting angry and . Once your child has calmed, acknowledge what they were feeling and why. What we commonly refer to as misbehavior is often the side effect when children feel insecure, and disempowered. We are much more likely to yell, punish and be harsh on our children when we are feeling overwhelmed or angry ourselves. Traditional School: Comparison ChartContinue, The Montessori language approach is a very specific, structured approach to language learning that varies from many traditional methods. Part of this process is undoing the tendency to yell or seek punitive recourse when your child misbehaves. Tell them that they can choose which toys to play with or which books to read rather than asking them what they want to do. Biting and Hitting It can be startling for parents to see children choosing aggressive behaviors. With respect for self and others comes self-discipline. Montessori Homeschool Classroom and Materials, More Than Ten Years Worth of Free Printables and Montessori-Inspired Activities. Freedom to Do What's Right - The ultimate goal of discipline is student self-control in preparation for a successful adult life. . This can be the most difficult part because, as parents, we often have personalities and experiences that we havent interrogated. In reality, Montessori falls in the middle of these two extremes. While some strategies are similar, the general structure and order in which writing, phonics and reading get taught varies quite a bit. Our concern is with the development of the internal locus of control, which enables an individual to choose the right behavior because it is right for him or herself and right for the community. Montessori education handles discipline by helping children to consider consequences using clear, precise language to validate a child's emotions and ensure that they are free to make their own choices, as long as they are willing to face the consequences of those choices. Montessori classrooms use the Positive Discipline approach created by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. These sandpaper letters provide and excellent opportunity for children to learn and understand the letters beginning at a young age. The Montessori Method asks educators and parents to reach beyond that level so that children internalize the difference between right and wrong and develop the critical thinking skills to understand that actions have consequences. A democratic parenting style is recommended, rather than the authoritarian style with which most of us grew up. I want to find a book for her about how to stop children from biting, but the tips you shared here should be helpful for her in the meantime! Stronger emotions need more expressions and your child is learning to vent strong feelings, albeit in the wrong way. Here are two helpful videos on a Montessori approach to discipline by Miss Donna from Aldea Montessori School. Montessori discipline is not a technical term by any means. Children under the age of three, i.e., children who are not yet in preschool, are unable to obey outside of their vital urges. It has been proven time and time again that children learn by example. This way, you can identify the patterns and protect your child from any untoward situations that may set them off. Montessori discipline emphasizes respect for the child as an individual. Whether youre a teacher in a Montessori classroom or a parent looking to bring these practices home, discipline in the Montessori system can help children to grow and learn. This applies not only to actions, but the way adults handle emotions and relationships as well. This involves the careful preparation of the teacher and the classroom environment. amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; Providing one step at a time or one choice at a time helps children develop a sense of autonomy without feeling overwhelmed or out of control. The second level of obedience is reached when the child is capable of understanding another persons wishes and can express them in her own behavior. However, there are many things you can do to address this behavior. For most parents, the first time they are forced to truly make a decision about their method of discipline is when they have to deal with a tantrum. We dive into explaining 5 key principles including the absorbent mind, sensitive periods, the prepared environment, control of error, and practical . Understanding why positive discipline is used in a Montessori setting is helpful as you get started, but all the knowledge in the world cant make up for lack of experience. amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; This website is here to provide resources for other moms wanting to use Montessori at home. Preschool-aged children are generally in what the Montessori Method designates as the second level of obedience. One of the secrets to success in the Montessori classroom is freedom within the limits of very clear ground rules. However, there are many things you can do to address this behavior. Discover your triggers and then do your best to avoid them in the future. While many of these methods vary from a more traditional approach, they are becoming increasingly common in a diverse number of home and school settings today. However, if you observe a family or classroom that uses this approach, you might be surprised to discover that the children respond quite well to Montessori discipline methods. There is a common misconception that Montessori children are allowed to do whatever they like. First help them calm down. Children learn what to do when someone is unkind or unfair and how to discuss conflicts when they occur. * Create beautiful Montessori activities for their age Montessori education handles discipline by helping children to consider consequences using clear, precise language to validate a childs emotions and ensure that they are free to make their own choices, as long as they are willing to face the consequences of those choices. Make sure students understand what they are gaining by being obedient, and what they stand to lose, such as a quality education, if they misbehave. When they are melting down, its impossible to rationalise with them. Freedom and discipline walk hand in hand in Montessori pedagogy. Not using bribes and rewards or punishment - Bribes, rewards and punishment are all extrinsic motivations. How can parents bring this type of discipline home from the classroom? Every schools ground rules will vary but the essence is generally the same. Its almost bedtime.. A child might be more inclined for a meltdown or tantrum if: If you are able to determine the root cause of the tantrum, for example that your child is over-tired, you will better be able to address the behavior. Learning about the Montessori Method has been intriguing and fascinating, and I have enjoyed watching the little ones in my life learn and grow from incorporating Montessori elements into our family's lifestyle.Montessori For Today was started to provide answers to my own questions, which will hopefully become a great resource for others to learn about the Montessori Method, Montessori Schools, and how you can incorporate elements of Montessori into your own home and lifestyle. Coming from the perspective of an enslaved people . This is one of the basic principles of Montessori education. These types of situations can be avoided by simplifying the environment. 2023 The Montessori Site - WordPress Theme by Kadence WP, Montessori At Home | 9 Ways to Use Montessori Methods at Home, Montessori vs. If we shout to solve problems, they learn to shout to solve problems. They havent developed the critical thinking capacity to understand the consequences of their choices. Elementary students students going into first and second grade should be able to reach the third level of obedience as defined by the Montessori Method so long as they received the proper nurturing and attention to discipline at younger ages. Educators and schools that use the Montessori Method create orderly spaces that help the student to learn how they should act within the space. Threats, bribes or withdrawal of privileges were expected to make us comply with our parents wishes. Encourage those activities to which they take naturally rather than engaging them in activities because you think they need to learn something. My child bit someone at school last month and I was so lost with how to handle it! In order to provide your child with the appropriate amount of freedom and responsibility, youll need to create a safe and fully child-proof environment. 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