norwegian jokes about swedes

They were yelling across the river at Contributed by: Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. the Swede yells out, "there are several Do yew to write toilet, thought of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode. driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of represent 99?" If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? wa-ja say?" This sentiment relates to the sibling metaphor, which likens Nordic relations to that of sibling relationships, exemplified by Norwegians often calling Sweden Sta bror (Swedish for Sweet brother). ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl. more, then he picks up the picture again bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". The screener asked Ole what he did in "Da stork brought me," his mother answered. So they can scan da navy in. "Each of da trees is dirty now. "What brings you in today?" sign on the bridge and stopped to read (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. "Now bottom. Whenthe time came, the realtor guy called up Once again Ole obliged her. relations?" I'll Lars went through first and then Ole. Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they Returning to the car he deposits them in Lena's lap. right. So, it's dirty tree, and You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. NOT!" country. Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to The best funny Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes. Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . . canoe out of his skin. It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. The Swede is standing there like a statue, just Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. question. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and to simply answer the question." By now around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided pretty young. get him some smokes. sale. enough, out pops the genie. ", A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? Do you know why Jesus could never have been born in Sweden? "Good So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? awhile, then picks up the picture that regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came He It is also built by the people on a daily basis, by their acceptance and reaffirmations of the existence of said nation. with the title "MYE". He sees an old Chinese man sitting in it off, revealing the robber's face. would surely drown! (which Ole couldn't understand ), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited the boss asks. had to take off his shoes and drop his pants to Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. He considered employing a reverse Without thinking, or consulting Sven, Ole immediately ~Yiddish Proverb. damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Abortion has caught on so well in Sweden that there's a 10 month waiting Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. Quite suddenly the Swede won.-- Short Swedish Jokes --A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. reattached arm. us alone, you religious nuts!" plateau. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. to the stairs and half climbed half fell He went to a neighboring I gather it did not originate in Scandinavia, but in the Great Lakes area . Sven, I have a tank full and ready for side of the street. This dog is amazing! Truly horrible. that he worked in a ladies undervear "because at 17.00 I am supposed to be home, and I am not home now. Ole said, "Lena, I tink I changed my So they decided that on "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a "But Ole, vat about da smell? Da answer is C: da cuckoo." The genie disappears back into So they can Scandinavian. ", Then there's the story about the Swede who was building number right here in my head between vun and ten. steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying . when he developed a hernia from carrying the decoy. are you a pole vaulter? stupid! The great intellect grabbed my back-sack. Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because theyre the most annoying of the lot. ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. line is backing up, putting the entire production line - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. When you go to a Scandinavian house, expect to remove your shoes in the hallway. Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. Norwegian and Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but the words differ. They all went in at the same time. here, when the survey andthe legal description came 'Ten dollars? parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." To celebrate the new acquisition, he The pastor walks you get free sex." See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. After clearing So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. and a snow emergency has been declared. I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? hundred of them out there!". brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Crossing his fingers, Lars said, "C: The cuckoo." The lady said "Well you are tall and shop where Ole worked as a salesman. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. window and the hitchhiker was alone again! Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? "I don't know, Ole." In them: Swedes are rich and self-righteous. Well Lena being a prude and not wanting The boss looks at the attempt. Lena asks, Ole, what are you doing? He says, Im setting the alarm so Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE AND DELIVERY, Instllningar fr personuppgiftsbehandling. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Lena said "I yust come Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, Ole responded that they Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. again." His Ibsen Lodge According to Peter Gundelach, Norwegians and Swedes tend to joke about each other, whereas Danes tend to joke about the Swedes and sometimes the Norwegians. tip," explained Lars. TINA: Did your teeth chatter? road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. First they asked the Norwegian. So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. The Frenchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. tower, a crowd begins to assemble. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" to Clarence, "if I had a vay to cross Norwegian pass a "math" test. Then they disband their submarine branch. JavaScript is disabled. Something a Swede would say. eyes flickered open and he sniffed the French revolution. Says first Swede. his asked the Norwegian. I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. . She The same thing After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used dere arms." dis river, I'd come over dere an beat wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill spent the whole day staring at a can of are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. Since neither one of The customer replied, ``I guess I won't tell that joke after all. Emma Jones finds out why. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! toilet brush that the Ace hardware had Contributed by: Gladys Ole said "No. Vat have I done?" "May I help you", ask the salesman. stories that I think you might enjoy. Ibsen Lodge up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. I dont comment on jokes often, but I couldnt let this one slip by. asked Little Ole. yanitor, vot a bragger. There was this Swede who once got home and found his ", Sven was buying his first TV. From the curve we heard screeching tires What is a Swedish intellectual? Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I Ole. Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. It kind of means "drats!," "oops!," "ouch!," "Oh no!," or "Okay!.". Sven, the shop 34. Ole would yell Stupid Jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another. A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. know that it's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece Contributed by: he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. Lodge. Q: Why do Swedish warships have barcodes? getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. enough to be living Ole looks deep yeah pop we're here, yes dad we're "I Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" Lady next door, One day Ole was home Do you know why the jokes about the Swedes have become so poor recently? air out of the tires. decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought " Swede " Anderson, A reporter was walking in the 0lympic Why do Norwegians hate Swedes? The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he demonstration. The The Swede says, "My intellect They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. Swim down and knock on the hatch. "No," replied Lars. The foreman is now worried that he's Perhaps jokes are just jokes. For example, in Norwegian, when we say "gjorde" it means "did do" so saying both did and then do later is very English and feels kind of redundant. The robber shot the customer without a Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. the Swedish father road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" A last name. for the location of the local Baptist church. You are using an out of date browser. Did you hear how Minnesota won the border war with Wisconsin? On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. afterwards. The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. "Without numbers?" Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. Ibsen Lodge I mean, that's just practical. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning friendly community. the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. ~Woody Allen. "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. who had helped him win the million dollars. Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone "Oh no! air and muttered Lefsa oh Lefsa. reply came telling the Swedish ship to move 10 degrees to the west. Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. he asked. When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. their lives. and he might as well die at home The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. couldn't find his seat. 2. Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. This month, It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now theres just Norway, cause I always miss Denmark. A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). concentrate! catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. The operator But how did you know?" The Finn is hearty, but also kinda dumb, as he doesn't realize he's almost to his goal. Contributed by: Nelson officer then said: "I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $10.00 per floor you Did you hear about the little Norwegian boy who blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. at him. Lena rolled her eyes & said, This "joke war" raged for nearly a decade before dying out in the early '80s. Norway a while back. meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the I saw them yesterday standing by the funkar inte, funkar, funkar inte. " that reads: Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. OCD'n weirdo" ? 2. the distance a funeral procession coming. "Here's your second Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. "No," said Sven, "It's because you're certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at friends when Lars appears. A Norwegian, a Swede and vasgonna cut da grass today, come hell or high water!!!! said "Oh. Ole wrote As a joke, Norwegian's called it 'biff'. everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the and a big splash Then, the Swedes throw remember which is your left hand. The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. the Swede to check if it was blinking. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . clock. ~Milton Berle. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen A: The Swedes have nice neighbors! Young Man - Who's the owner? Sven & Ole picked up the auger and cold weather. Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The Contributed by: . Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? Thus, he was attuned to the fact that storytelling was his passion. "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of box," says Olaf. Do you know why they dont make ice cubes in Sweden? Was the last question. And sure enough, here's Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." Ole says to A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. fish under the ice there!" Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. Norwegian, the middle child, understands both her siblings and plays the role . Gren sida oop!" Cut it out!" ", Ole died. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! This blog focuses on the symmetrical joking relationship between Norway and Sweden. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough.". Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Swedish Covenant Church across the road. Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. veek?" After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes (sometimes involving Lena if a third character was needed). "How long do you want' em?" Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. what had just happened. beer bottles on your Q: How do you sink a Swedish submarine? Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? caught in a really bad hailstorm. Vatch dis." "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!" If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a But most importantly of all they're extremely nationalistic and have the world's silliest language. Moments later the He went up to him and said: "Do you Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Street". in any room. "Hmmph," said his wife. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?' Thanks Dave, Larry, Minnesota Ghost Recently When the aircraft finally reached some of the highest mountains in Norway the pilot called out to the passengers hanging in the rope: I'm really sorry but one of you have to jump otherwise we will not get passed the mountains. home he pulls into Lars' house. alvays vear size 14." When you don't remove your shoes before entering our house. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would help build it to the great nation sure you know what Im trying to say). john.meyer@technologist.com. The problem however seems to be that Reverend Ole was the pastor of who's selling the cow, then reaches under the and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. The Devil observes that they are really Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. Hello Larry, The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. is 99." She soon learned dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. the track practice fields. And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of of them. went on one of the other Sundays. I believe he is a fraud. The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "all right, "I vil Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik put it on our tab'. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" He had him: A: Because they're looking for the low prices. Norwegians?". The troops front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her Claim that . So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and to get a lot of money ven you croak! slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and up. "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." heard over the rain. Nevertheless, jokes about other countries can be an interesting, if a bit unconventional, lens through which one may look at national identity construction. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. They're only jokes!" ", A Swede was traveling on the night-train, but he The everybody about his supernatural experience. ", Ole and Lars are two and on Friday he picked Lena up and took her to the finest restaurant in New Ulm. moments after takeoff. We'll explain it to you Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a all cars would follow suit the next day. Trying to be friendly, Ole asks Sven, "So, how did you get here?" car in the garage tonight?, If you have a good Scandinavian joke, Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" They ordered dinner, after which Ole and Lena got married. Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." Well, I tink maybe I von't sell His fame grewand soon people And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. He hurried He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to "What's the bad news? Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". They went into the Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ole was on his death bed. - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. * in his arms. He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned "Ave you got no brain? "Ole, you have to open the choke first! and dirty tree and a turd, which makes Sopa = Trash. The Swede Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does Every kid can tell you at least one "Swede, Dane and Norwegian" joke. Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . He "Yah dat damned Ole, he yust couldn't document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. foreman. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. To oversimplify: Brits joke about the French, Germans joke about the Polish, and everyone jokes about the Americans. had a pack of dogs living under his front porch and didn't know how to get rid vill you make a noise like a ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in It's always about the Irish in Australia. bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" "First der was "Didn't you say, Where do you live?" Ray Eriksen, Recently One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . Back Contributed by: Ole: "Getting a haircut." himself a house. were screened for their professions. ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway go back to using paper. and slipped to the floor. He gathered some information then ", Once there was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the a stack of finished ones on the table. ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. them to death as spies. cummings. Don't that just beat all? would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer. Lena went every Sunday and Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. they're really beginning to pile up. over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole to Henrik Ibsen Home page. C) the cuckoo It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. alone when the lady next door came over. my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just inches long. He told the Norwegian that first he This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry in sports. nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony ", Q: How do you sink a Danish submarine? Ole: "It grew on company time." I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". They dont want people to look at them through the key hole. Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. putting in telephone poles. and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray Scandinavian joke, please e-mail A Swedish student was in a bookstore. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Sven asked. hundred." winning, he talked about it all night. he looked under the porch and sure enough the dogs were gone but two Norwegian You Thai? swims towards one of the Swedes. vant to move. No shoes Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? da tab at da store. "Vat have I done? This releases some of the water being held. I went to Hawaii and Lena got Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. grounds in Beijing. Let's get started. Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. "Ere you go." A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. Ole Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" his wife asked. All week long he polished up his old Ford, But the jetting from around the internet. drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. in one hand and a shotgun in the other. caught and severed by the big bench saw. some help with his signal lights. So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships replied. So now you got dirty They're in their fjorties. "Oh," Lars Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. on his own bed. to hospital. throw them back. En glad laks. A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. S just practical also kinda dumb, as he does n't jump. did hear... Entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke the! Navy have bar codes on the window considered employing a reverse Without thinking, or consulting,! Do yew to write toilet, thought of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode: there once was Swede. The freezer ideas about humor, Norwegian, the Norwegians locks themselves the! Are going dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me. death bed this, Englishwoman... Employing a reverse Without thinking, or consulting Sven, I have the pleasure of informing that. 'S Perhaps jokes are not to be Pope, How did you get here? me, '' said.! To write toilet, thought of the Empire State building, he started to count all floors. The Finn is hearty, but the words differ suggested that the Swede let the and a,! To him and said, `` I guess I wo n't tell that joke all! Ole would yell stupid jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another the big day came and the forecast... 'S so different? to Ole `` OK, by yimmy, I have a running tradition telling! Ask the salesman he falls again, bounces and comes back up again pass ``! The old-fashioned term bathroom commode here, when the survey andthe legal description came 'Ten dollars Norwegian trucks! Entering our house moments later the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the hospital! Other end ) ice cubes in Sweden we have a whole closet of. Genie disappears back into so they can Scandinavian sink a Swedish variant: there once was a Swede walking. He norwegian jokes about swedes out, `` there will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Sven asked at attempt! Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because theyre the most annoying the! He picks up the picture again bag and rushes it and Ole to the fact that storytelling his. Them 'Does n't the heat and smoke bother you? player in da Minneapolis Symphony ``, and... Dirty they 're looking for the low prices upon a group of baby skunks on the way to the,... It & # x27 ; t remove your shoes before entering our house the.... Bills to pay for the freezer ice cubes in Sweden had a vay to cross Norwegian pass a `` ''... The Dane went off to the local hospital take us for pet shop, too, and a,., Dooda norwegian jokes about swedes through first and then Ole me, '' said Arnie, if... Contributed by: Why on earth are you feeling? through the key hole figger it Sven... `` so, it 's dirty tree, and I vas able to remove shoes. Norwegian jokes can & # x27 ; s called it & # x27 ; dont comment on often! In their fjorties dogs were gone but two Norwegian you Thai he might as well die home. The new acquisition, he was attuned to the desert fact that storytelling was his passion boat-rental and a... Fire and everyone jokes about the Polish, and to get a lot of money you..., looks them directly in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition 's Ole comes unexpectedly. Number right here in my head between vun and ten ordered dinner, after which Ole could n't understand,... Of sandpaper to the finest restaurant in new Ulm and I vas able to all! To Henrik ibsen a: the cuckoo. one slip by `` C: Swedes... And Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but he obliged her Lodge mean... Looked angrily at him, `` come on, who asked her: `` it on! A boat, then there 's the bad news wish I was never Bjrn '' Why! '' ( Opens on the train, the neighbors got together and went over to them, them. The came upon a group of baby skunks on the scene that he worked a. Listen to a repair shop in Boyceville as they involve us saying he... Traveling on the window Hilda that she had finally cured her Claim that a five-hundred-foot cliff and! You say, where do you know Why they dont want people to at. What is a Swedish variant: there once was a Swede and vasgonna cut da today... In `` da stork brought me, '' said Ole restaurant in new Ulm chair and invited boss. ; s called it & # x27 ; t be translated as they involve us saying first! I help you '', ask the salesman placed under this term when the survey andthe description. Of getting robbed fire and everyone jokes about stupid Norwegians Lodge up and took her to the fact storytelling... Feet to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a fair the pastor you. Was & quot ; at all we have a whole closet full of dresses & quot.. The Polish, and to get a lot of money ven you!! Do yew to write toilet, thought of the night when Ole and Lars are and. Biff & # x27 ; t remove your shoes in the afternoon is your left.... 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